A Twisted Up Frown, Disguised As A Smile

[acontrollist]

Rachel isn't one to make impulsive decisions. She usually takes as long as possible to think things through, weighing the pros and cons of each outcome.

She obviously didn't do that tonight, since she's standing in Sam Evan's doorway, a bottle of vodka in her hand.

Honestly, she doesn't know what else to do.  Ever since she hung up that picture that Sam drew of her a month ago, she and Bradley have been doing nothing but fighting (and having makeup sex, but that's neither here nor there). Tonight was the worst though.  There was screaming, name calling (whore was thrown both ways) and one of her favorite crystal vases is still sitting in 3 pieces on her kitchen counter. It probably didn't help matters that as soon as Bradley had left ("Where are you going?! We're not finished talking about this!" "Out. Don't wait up.") Rachel did the only thing she could think of, which was calling Sam, who'd told her to just come over.

She's not even sure how the vodka came into play, but getting drunk sounds really good right now.

Comments

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to tell him if the baby isn't mine." But the weird thing is he wants to be the father. He strokes his hand through her hair to try and get her to calm down since they're making a scene in Starbucks. Not that he cares what people think. He cares more about getting Rachel through this.

"This isn't your fault... It's mine. I don't remember using a condom... I just wanted you so bad and I got so lost in the moment I didn't think... I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"I don't know." She admits. "Bradley and I were still-...maybe even that afternoon or the night after, I think. I have absolutely no idea. And even-...I'm not even sure if Bradley wants children." Rachel's generally all about making a scene, so at this point she doesn't really care about them being in public.

"It's my fault too...I shouldn't have-...we shouldn't have and I wanted too and we weren't thinking.."

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

It hurts hearing her admit to having sex with Bradley so soon after they slept together, so much he has to look away from her and out the window, telling himself to get a grip, and then his eyes are back on her once more.

"Whoever the father is, I'll support you."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

Bradley had initiated, their usual brand of making up and if she had turned him down, he would have known something was wrong. She couldn't hide that from Sam, not when he was so involved with this. It wouldn't be fair.

She nods against his shoulder, squeezing him a little tighter. "Thank you...I'm sorry. About all of this." Because their friendship is never going to be the same, but they'll be forced into contact for the next 9 months until they can determine who the baby's father is.

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to apologize to me, Rach..." She was better of saving her apologies for her boyfriend. It wasn't her fault though, technically they could both share the blame, but she was probably feeling guilty enough cheating on her boyfriend without feeling guilty for changing his life for the next 9 months. Sam didn't want her to feel bad for him on top of everything else she was probably feeling. He pressed a kiss into her hair at the top of her head.

"When are you gonna tell Bradley?"

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"I do. Because I dragged you into this...this hell." She shakes her head, hugging him a little tighter.

"I'm not sure. He's off of work today so I should probably go tell him right now and get it over with but..."

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

"It's scary but it's not hell." He wouldn't consider being the father of her child equivalent to being in hell. Sure, he'd be having a baby at a time of his life he wouldn't necessarily plan to have one but that didn't mean he didn't want the baby. He'd just have to prepare to be a father at a younger age than he expected.

"Do you want me to be there when you tell him?"

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"It's horrifying." You have to remember who you knocked up here, Sam. Crazy Berry. The most dramatic person you've probably ever met. The worst part might be that Rachel's more afraid of having the baby with Bradley, her boyfriend, than she thinks she would be if she was sure Sam was the father. But she doesn't tell him that.

"Absolutely not." She shakes her head. "I don't know how he'll react and I don't want...I don't want things to potentially get physical."

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

Sam's pretty sure Bradley has been looking for an excuse to hit him since they met and possibly getting his girlfriend pregnant would be a perfect reason. It's probably for the best if Sam doesn't accompany her, unless he wants to get a black eye, which he doesn't. He just has a bad feeling that Bradley isn't going to take Rachel's news very well and he wants to be there to defend her.

"Okay... but promise you'll call me after."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"I will." She grabs her purse, shouldering it and leaning in to hug him one more time. "Thank you."

It's an hour later when she calls. "He's sleeping with Amy, he doesn't want children and he kicked me out." She manages before all that gets through her side of the phone is sobs and the sound of cars on the street.

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

He's been wondering what to do about Amy since he's felt like he's been stringing her along for weeks now, using her as a distraction from Rachel. But hearing that she's been sleeping with Bradley has solved his problem of what to do with her, which is never see her again. Good thing Sam hadn't slept with her. It's funny how he isn't hurt by knowing she's been sleeping with Bradley this whole time. Instead he's just angry at Bradley for cheating on Rachel.

He winces down the phone when he hears just how badly Bradley has reacted to her news. He's worried when he hears cars in the background, not liking the idea of her wandering the streets of New York when she's distressed. She needs to be somewhere safe, like his apartment.

"Where are you? Come to mine. You can stay with me."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"I was going to get a hotel." She says. But he wants her to come stay with him. She's probably carrying another man's child, she's been using him as an escape from her (previously) destructive relationship and he...still wants her to stay with him. Whoever the father is, I'll support you.

"Okay." She says softly, too tired to protest even if she wanted to. But somehow, Sam's place seems like the safest she's going to get for a long time and that's all she really wants right now. To curl up and sleep and feel safe.

When she arrives at his place, she has a large duffel bag and two suitcases, a man behind her (the cabby, probably) carrying another backpack and two more suitcases. "I'm sorry, I know it's a lot, I just...I didn't want to have to go back there."

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

Sam frowns at the hotel idea. The last thing she needs is to feel like she's alone right now in New York when she's recently found out she's carrying a baby. Maybe his apartment isn't the biggest and he'd never been to her place with Bradley for obvious reasons but it sounded swanky...

"Rachel, please, just come stay with me..." Turns out he doesn't need to beg her because she's already agreed.

"It's fine," he tells Rachel when she's on her doorstep with so many bags he's lost count. He's glad she's got it all now so like she said, she doesn't have to go back to that jerk. He gets out his wallet and tips the cabby (generously, since there are so many bags that look quite heavy), then carries her stuff into the apartment, shutting the door behind her.

"C'mere." He pulls her into a hug with a sigh. It's been a long day.

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

She doesn't start crying again, thank God (though she feels like she could), folding her arms around him and clinging for a good while, sniffling. "Thank you. You shouldn't be in this position, but thank you. So much." Her hands fist in the back of his t-shirt and she takes a deep, shaking breath. "I'm sorry I'll be clogging your living room with my bags." She laughs, a little watery, pulling back to survey the room.

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

"I think you forgot the kitchen sink," he teases her. "It's fine. Honestly, it's not a problem at all. We'll find room for your stuff tomorrow..."

For now, he just wants her to rest. "You can have my bed." He'd take the couch. "You should get some sleep. You look exhausted."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"No, Sam, I can't do that." Rachel shakes her head. "I'll take the couch, it's fine." She can't deny she's tired though, stifling a yawn. "I can't put you out anymore."

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

"You're not putting me out. You're sleeping in my bed and that's final." He takes her hand in his and pulls her towards his bedroom whether she likes it or not. "If you sleep on the couch, I'll just pick you up when you're sleeping and move you into my bed anyway. So just do as you're told."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"Well then we'll share it." She takes her hand back, folding her arms. "I'm not making you sleep on the couch. You're doing enough for me as it is and I can't kick you out of your room too."

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

Sam can tell her mind has been made up about this. At least he's got her to agree to sleep in his bed and if it's at the price of him joining her then so be it. It's just that the last time they were in his bed together, they were naked. And Sam's afraid he's going to end up cuddling her in his sleep, something she might not want.

"Are you sure it's such a good idea?" Sure, they're friends. Friends can sleep in the same bed together. But they'd crossed the line of friendship the other day and they can never go back.

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"Sam, we're adults. Adults can share a bed." She rolls her eyes. And okay, she's not entirely sure that she can sleep in a bed with him without cuddling (he's the first person she's cuddled with in like a year), but Rachel's known for her game face if nothing else.

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

She was right. They were adults... Except the reason she was pregnant was because they'd acted like irresponsible adults.

Nonetheless, he gives up arguing with her. "Fine. I'll give you time to get ready." Just because he's seen her naked doesn't mean she's comfortable getting changed in front of him, so he grabs some pajama pants to wear and leaves the room. Usually he sleeps in just his boxers since he can get hot in the night, but he thinks it's probably safer if he wears more layers.

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

The bag she carries on her back has her pjs in it, so she heads into his room to change into her NYU t-shirt and a pair of shorts. Sitting the bag aside, she heads into the living room. "Sam? I changed...I thought maybe we could order some takeout? I'll pay but I'm suddenly famished..."

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

Sam looks up from the couch where he's sitting in a pair of Batman pajama pants (some things never change, including his dorky taste in bedwear). His chest is on show but he doesn't think it matters, not expecting her to perve on him.

"Sure thing..." He fetches some takeout menus for her along with the phone. "What are you hungry for?"

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

He's probably not expecting it but she does it anyway, just a tad. Blushing, she turns to look at the television instead of at his chest, taking a deep breath before she turns to look at him again, holding her composure. "Chinese sounds wonderful, right now. Unless you're in the mood for something else..."

[dontcrysammy.livejournal.com]

Naturally his mind wanders somewhere else at her sentence for just a moment, and then he shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "Chinese is fine by me... Do you want what you usually have?" They've had enough takeouts together for him to predict what she'll order.