We built these paper mountains, then sat and watched them burn.

[acontrollist]

"I'll call you tomorrow, I promise." Rachel smiles, closing her eyes as Jeremy leans down, dropping a kiss on her nose. It's a strangely innocent gesture, considering that she's wearing little more than one of his t-shirts and a pair of sleep shorts. Considering they'd come home tipsy the night before and immediately retired to her bedroom for a...well. It was nice. A nice night. And judging by the way Noah and Santana talk about it, Rachel's sure she should have something other than the word nice to describe her sex life but it's really all that's ever come to mind. Jeremy tugs her close for a real kiss then and she leans up on to her toes to return it, before moving away to shut the door behind him and head into the kitchen for something to eat.

Generally, Rachel would feel iffy about having sex in an apartment with such thin walls, knowing that she has a roommate (one of the advantages to she and Kurt not sharing an apartment, even if they are best friends). But lately, Noah's been bringing home (and isn't it funny that she thinks of this place as both of their homes now?) a string of strange women. And having very loud sex. Rachel doesn't even really know how you manage to have the kind of sex it sounds like Noah is having on a twin bed. At least Rachel can pretty much guarantee that her sex with Jeremy last night was no where near as disturbing to Noah's sleep patterns as his is to hers.

And that's the only reason it's bothering her, really. Noah's allowed to do what he want. Sleep with who he wants. It's just that he's keeping her up...really. That's all.

Opening the fridge, Rachel grabs the orange juice and a few eggs, humming The Bitch of Living as she sets about making herself some scrambled eggs. Thank god for no longer being vegan. Scrambled eggs are definitely one of the best inventions ever.

Comments

[countpuckula]

He had definitely touched a nerve with that one, which only seemed to encourage Puck further.

“No, I think if you do that together that makes you swingers,” he pointed out, more than a little amused by her reaction. It was probably one of his worst traits: when he was in a bad mood, somehow putting someone else in a worse one made him feel better. It was part of how and why he had played the bully so well earlier in high school. He didn’t often put people down to feel better about himself anymore, at least not unworthy people who were worse off than him. He reserved that for the people better than him that he resented or envied, like Jeremy.

But while he was getting a good rise out of Rachel as intended, he hadn’t meant to push her to the point that she actually ended up blind with rage and hurting herself. Jumping back instinctively when the pan cluttered to the floor, Puck stared at her with wide eyes for a moment following her loud curse. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard her swear before, and part of him wanted to laugh at that, but a bigger part was concerned and that’s the one that ended up winning. Sidestepping the still hot pan and scattered eggs, he said nothing but took her wrist in one hand and her fingertips gently in the other. Bending his head over her hand, he examined the already appearing redness before pursing his lips and gently blowing across the surface.

[acontrollist]

"Stop it." She pulls her hand back, sniffling. Whether it's because her feelings are hurt, she's angry, or because her hand burns like a son-of-a-bitch, she doesn't really know. Sidestepping him, she grabs a towel with her good hand, sticking under some cold water and wrapping the wet cloth around her hand before bending to try and clean up the scattered eggs. They were starting to smell really good, too...

"Why do you have to be such a jerk?" She finally huffs, tossing the paper towel she was futiley trying to use to clean the eggs up down onto the floor, before moving to sit with her back against the counter. "Why can't you just leave things alone?"

[countpuckula]

Dropping his hands to his sides when Rachel pulled away, Puck just stood there awkwardly as she set about wrapping her hand then cleaning the mess. He wished he had jeans on so he could shove his hands in his pockets, but he didn’t so for lack of anything else to do he crouched down and attempted to help clean up. Grabbing the spatula and the pan, he used the former to scoop the fallen eggs up and flip them into the cooling pan.

“Hey, I’m not a jerk!” he protested, dropping the spatula into the pan and glaring at her. He couldn’t hold onto it, though. She just looked so miserable sitting there. So tiny and miserable and suddenly he did feel like a jerk. “I thought this was what we do!” he tried to protest, tried to make excuses. “I was just teasing.” But even he couldn’t deny it was more than that.

[acontrollist]

She watches him clean up over the rim of her arms and knees and she wants to forgive him then. Tease back. But her hand stings so bad and it'll probably blister and she's not even really that upset that he was making fun of Jeremy but she hates it when he's right and the worst part is that she doesn't know what to do about it and why should he get to keep rubbing his fabulous sex life in her face when it's like she's never going to have that because maybe she's not attractive enough or something or or...

"No you weren't." She sniffles. "You weren't teasing. You were but then you started being mean and you don't know Jeremy or anything about my sex life and I have to hear yours all the time. Don't you think that's enough? Do you really need to rub it in my face more?"

[countpuckula]

Puck had seen Rachel upset before, many times in high school, but usually it was because of Finn. At this moment, hearing her sniffle and knowing that he was the one to upset her... well, it didn’t actually settle well. He had always been the one to make her feel better, not worse, and he didn’t like being the cause of her suffering. At all.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel a small sense of satisfaction when she pretty much admitted that her sex life sucked, especially in comparison to his (though honestly, whose didn’t?).

“I know it isn’t as good as it could be,” he said without any foul intent. It was just a statement. Dropping down to sit on the floor as well, he leaned his back against the cupboard across from Rachel so they were facing one another. “If you want me to, I can stop bringing them home. I can just go back to staying out those nights.”

After all, this was ultimately still Rachel’s place. Puck paid what he could, but on minimum wage it wasn’t enough to pay his full half. Besides, it had been her place first and it was still her name on the lease. If she didn’t want him bringing girls back anymore then he’d live with that.

[acontrollist]

Considering that Noah was the main source of her bullying for much of the beginning of high school, you think she'd be used to being upset because of him. But really, it's been a while and she's not even sure how to handle it anymore. She was enjoying being out of practice.

So maybe he's right. She just shrugs. "Just because you have a ridiculous sex life doesn't mean you know anything about mine or it's capabilities."

"You live here too." Rachel was doing just fine paying for everything before Noah came along and as long as he's working and trying, she doesn't mind footing mostly everything now. "It's not fair to not let you bring friends home when I bring Jeremy home sometimes...just." Don't rub it in my face.

[countpuckula]

Puck couldn’t help it. Even though Rachel was still upset with him he still couldn’t help but grin when she called his sex life ‘ridiculous’.

“Ridiculously awesome, you mean,” he corrected. Pushing his luck, he knew, but he was rarely one to do serious for long. Serious led to things getting heavy and he was never one to talk about feelings or secrets or all the messy things in life. He wasn’t one to really let people in if he could avoid it.

Pushing away from the cupboard behind him, he shimmied across the floor to deposit himself on the opposite side, right beside Rachel.

“I do, but it was working fine before, just crashing at their places instead,” he said with a shrug. Besides, it was probably safer that way too. If any of them turned out to be crazies looking for more than one night, it was probably better they didn’t know where he lived.

Rachel wasn’t quite done, though, even if she was dancing around what she really wanted to say. Puck could have let it go, was on the verge, but instead he turned his head to look at her and raised his eyebrows. “Just...?” he prompted.

[acontrollist]

"I mean ridiculous. I don't know how you keep up with who's who and who's sister or cousin or best friend you've slept with and who you might be able to bring home without getting your tires slashed and who likes what and who's not okay with what and it's-...Jeremy can barely keep up with one woman and-" She stops there, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She really didn't mean to say that...

He's really close suddenly and she turns, resting her temple against her forearms so that she's facing him. "You do whatever you want, Noah. You're a grown man and you pay rent."

"You don't get to make judgement calls on my sex life." Stretching her legs out, Rachel unwraps her hand. It's peeling, but not blistering yet so that's a good sign. "If it's good enough for me, then it's good enough for you to just...deal with it. Okay?" She really doesn't mean for it to sound as defeatist as it does but...

[countpuckula]

Ohh, that kind of ridiculous. Puck’s grin got even wider... until she mentioned Jeremy again. So he was right! Mr. Perfect was totally lame in the sack! Oh, that was beautiful. No matter what else happened today, just knowing that would make it all easier to handle.

“It’s pretty easy. In a city as big as New York it doesn’t matter who is who, I don’t have a car, and they’re all more than okay with what I do,” he said with more than his usual confidence, because maybe he was never anyone’s first choice, and maybe he was a fuck up and maybe he would never make anything of himself, but he was still a sex God and there was nobody that could deny that.

Probably not the best way to get back on Rachel’s good side now, though. Oh well, maybe a different tactic was in order. Looking down at her hand, hearing the way she spoke, his smile waned.

“Maybe it shouldn’t be good enough for you,” he said a bit forcefully. What was the point of being amazing if he couldn’t share his wisdom with others, especially his best friend? Because somewhere along the line, that was exactly what Rachel Berry had become. “Come on, Rach,” he continued, turning to face her. “Don’t you ever feel like... I don’t know, like there’s this fire inside you and if you don’t find some way to unleash it it’ll just burn you from the inside out until you’re all like... burnt and gross and stuff?”

Words had never really been his thing, but the way he was looking at her now would hopefully help convey his message.

on my phone. sucky tag its sucky

[acontrollist]

"Of course I do. Why do you think I fight so hard for roles? If I never make it, I couldn't live with myself." She knows exactly what he's talking about. And Broadway isn't it. But if Rachel can do anything, its deflect. Although, it is relevant. Or so she thinks. After all, trying to search for a sex God of her own, Or devoting her energy to seducing the resident one., is just time and energy she doesn't have to spare on her quest to stardom.

[countpuckula]

For a moment Puck was confused. Roles? Maybe Rachel really was into some kinky shit like roleplaying and costumes and... oh, she was talking about Broadway again. Right. Oh well, he should probably just let it go, then. She wasn’t calling him a jerk anymore, nor was she close to tears, so now would be a good time to let it all drop and walk away.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he said instead, because as well as words, knowing when to quit had never been his thing either.

[acontrollist]

She knows. She knows exactly what she's talking about and she shrugs again, standing to run the cold water softly over her hand. She's gonna need to get some sort of ointment on it soon, she knows. But for some reason, the idea of leaving the kitchen to search for it makes Rachel so tired. After she resoaks the rag, she slides back down into her seat next to Puck.

"I guess. I mean. Yeah. Yes. Still yes."

[countpuckula]

Watching Rachel move around the kitchen, Puck is reminded of her burnt hand and the fact that they still hadn’t gotten to breakfast yet. Not sure how to respond to her words, he figures maybe not might not be such a bad time to let it go. It’s not like he’s her shrink or anything, and if she keeps wanting to date Finn replacements in every way then who was he to stop her?

“Why don’t you go take care of that,” he says, pointing at her hand. “And I’ll cook... something.”

Surely eggs can’t be too difficult.

[acontrollist]

Standing back up, Rachel nods. "Thank you." She says softly, unwrapping her hand as she leaves the kitchen. There's burn ointment in the First Aid Kit in the bathroom because seriously, when is Rachel ever unprepared? Applying the thick cream, she sighs, just letting it sit for a second. It feels wonderful. Maybe it won't end up being too bad of a burn...

She wraps her hand and heads back into the kitchen a few minutes later, hands kind of idle. She doesn't have on pants, so no pockets and even if she had them, she couldn't stick her burnt hand into it. And she can't fold her arms for the same reason.

"Did...uhm. How's breakfast coming?"

[countpuckula]

As Rachel went off to see to her hand, Puck got to his feet but he didn’t get started on breakfast right away. He waited until she was out of sight in the bathroom because damn if she didn’t look good in those little shorts as she walked away.

Shaking his head, he took the carton of eggs out of the fridge, rinsed out the frying pan and set to work. It wasn’t too hard to scramble eggs, he found; the most annoying part being picking the bits of shell out of the pan that managed to fall in. Apparently he had to work on his egg cracking skills. Pushing it about the pan, he added a little salt and pepper... okay, maybe more than a little, and popped some toast down. Now toast he could do, he was an expert at making toast. By the time Rachel returned everything was just about ready, including the coffee.

“Not bad, if I do say so myself. Maybe I can convince my boss to give me some kitchen time,” he said with a grin. He hated his job, running the cash and some fast food joint nearby. As much as he was glad to be free of Lima, both his jobs there had been way better than this one.

[acontrollist]

Her smile is tentative, like she's just waiting for them to start fighting again. But the food smells really good and maybe they're gonna be okay after this...there might not be anything to worry about at all. "Maybe. I could teach you how to cook, maybe...and then you could get a job at a real restaurant." She suggests, moving forward to grab her plate with her good hand.

"I don't think my hand will blister..." She says, once she's sitting on the bar stool at the kitchen island. "...And I'm sorry I called you a jerk." Even if he was kind of being one, she knows she only really got angry and hurt herself because he was right and it rattled her.

[countpuckula]

Setting his own plate down, Puck took the seat next to her and dug in. A bit salty, but edible. He had, of course, been joking about working in the kitchens at work, but forever encouraging, Rachel had jumped on it and was already turning him into a chef.

“Oh no, that’s a health hazard waiting to happen,” he said around his mouthful of food. He was much better off working as a grease monkey somewhere, but everyone wanted formal training and further education nowadays. A highschool diploma was pretty much worthless on its own.

Slathering some jam on his toast, Puck glanced over at Rachel when she brought the subject back around to their earlier argument. See if it was him he would have just let it slide, but she just couldn’t do that. She actually had to bring it all back up again just to apologise. Pesky conscience.

“I’m used to it. Been called a lot worse,” he brushed it off, taking a sip of his coffee. He wasn’t completely without a conscience himself, though, despite what some people believed, and as hard as it was to do so, he knew he had to offer something in return. “I shouldn’t have... you know. Pushed things.”

It was as close to ‘sorry’ as he was like to get. If only he’d been able to stop himself there. Unfortunately even with food in front of him he couldn’t stop talking. “But it’s just such a sin. A smokin’ hot body like yours? Man, you’re just not built for boring.”

[acontrollist]

At this point, having retired from the vegan lifestyle, Rachel will eat pretty much anything non-vegan. It all tastes good to her. So the extra salt in the eggs goes unnoticed and she takes the time to add a little pepper and put jelly on her toast before she digs in.

"Not with formal training!" Give her like 10 minutes, she'll let it go eventually. But she knows you, Noah. Has known you since you were kids and even if working at a fast food joint is the best you can get right now she knows you're destined for more.

"Doesn't mean it was okay for me to call you that..." She slides off of the bar stool and it takes her twice as long as usual to pour herself some orange juice with one hand out of commission. Her back is still to him when he apologizes, and she shrugs. "You're right. But it's okay."

Hopping back up into her seat, she laughs, avoiding his eyes as her good hand pushes her food around on her plate. "I...suppose that's a compliment. I mean, Jeremy isn't-...it's alright. Really."

[countpuckula]

Right, Chef Puckerman, he could just see it now. The first complaint he got and the customer would be getting something a little special in his replacement meal. Hell, he wouldn’t even need complaints; Puck was like to do such a thing just because he was bored or in a bad mood.

“Me and school don’t mix, I’m done with that schtick,” he replied, finishing off the eggs. A slow eater he certainly wasn’t. For what it was worth, he did appreciate the apology. He [i]had[/i] been called a jerk many times in his life, but it was the terms like ‘useless’ and ‘loser’ and ‘stupid’ that hurt more, so to have Rachel apologise for one so trivial made it pretty clear that she wouldn’t resort to any of the ones that would really wound.

Her laughter was encouraging, she’d always had a great laugh, and Puck turned in his seat to face her, one hand resting on the back of her stool and the other on the counter as he leaned in a little closer.

“You suppose? I don’t give out compliments easy, Berry, so you should take them when you get them,” he said, grinning at her. “It’s true. You got that tiny waist, and legs that never end and, sure, I’ve seen bigger boob, but more than a handful’s a waste, right? It all works together in this great package, and if Jeffery just isn’t doing it for you you should find yourself a real man who will.”

[acontrollist]

"So what's the plan then?" It's not accusatory or demeaning. Simply curious. Without formal schooling, there's really not much Noah can do with himself without much difficulty. So if he's not planning to go to school, Rachel's curious as to his alternative. Judging by the pure hatred and irritation that radiates off of him for at least an hour or two after his shift ends, he can't be planning on staying there.

She doesn't turn to face him as he leans closer, biting her lip. Even if neither of them have showered yet, he still smells so good. Like sweat and man and Noah and no, her breath doesn't hitch just a bit. "Well thank you, then..."

"Jeremy. And obviously, I'm not the best at being able to tell..." She shrugs, the finger poking out of the bandage on her hand toying idly with her hair. "I just...I don't have the time to audition men based on their sexual prowess, Noah. And I don't understand how I'm meant to look at a guy and know."

[countpuckula]

What was the plan? A very good question, but unfortunately one Puck couldn’t answer. Currently he didn’t have a plan. The original plan had just been to get out of Lima, find somewhere to crash and get a job that would cover the bills. He had achieved that, mostly, so now what? He just didn’t know. It wasn’t like he could really afford to go to school for anything. Sure, he could probably ask his mother to help him out, but he was determined to do this on his own... somehow.

Shrugging his shoulders in response, he hoped to distract Rachel enough with... other topics so that she didn’t question him further. It was far too early in the morning (it wasn’t that early) to think about life decisions, and it was way more satisfying to think about all the body parts he’d just been praising.

“You got that right,” he said with a chuckle. Although he didn’t know anything about her sex life with Finn (and didn’t want to know, thank you), he had known all about Finn’s ‘little problem’, so unless she had been able to teach him a few things, or one night with Santana had been able to work miracles, then he couldn’t think that life before NYC had been too exciting for her in this area.

“You know what your problem is? You’re always looking for the leading man,” Puck pointed out, quite proud of this theory of his. It really explained a lot to him. Back in Glee club, Artie had always had the better voice, but he hadn’t fit the model for the perfect boyfriend, so of course Rachel would throw herself at Finn and try to raise him up to her equal because he was the cookie cutter image of a leading man... at least physically. Not to mention that he let her walk all over him. “Nice, simple, perfect... [i]boring[/i]. You need someone with some edge, someone who doesn’t fit into that perfect mould.”

[acontrollist]

Rachel drops the subject, just like she always does. Really, as long as he's working, trying to do something, anything at all with himself, she doesn't want to push him too hard. After his lack of motivation in high school, she's reluctant to harp on whatever motivation he has now, even if she is completely convinced that he can do much better. And anyway, she can already tell that he's totally checked out of the conversation and she can swear she feels her pupils dilating when she realizes that his eyes are on her bare legs. Blushing, she crosses her legs and tugs her t-shirt down over her thighs, trying to subtly shit the attention.

It's not like Puck's never hit on her. Like they haven't made out before...there's been a few drunken pecks here and there since he moved in, even, but she's unsure how to handle this sober attention.

The Artie example is totally irrelevant. It would probably work better with Puck or maybe Mike, but Artie and Rachel had absolutely nothing in common. That relationship would have fizzled out faster than his short lived run with Sugar their senior year. "O-oh?" She finally looks over at him, head tilted a bit. "Where do you propose I find one of those, then?" Because Noah's too busy trying to work his way through the female population of New York.

[countpuckula]

Only when Rachel blushed and shifted her position did Puck realise the slippery slope he had been heading down. At first it had all been about getting under her skin. He had been frustrated and jealous and had wanted her to admit that Jeremy wasn’t as perfect as he appeared, and it had worked until she had gotten hurt; hurt because of him. Now he just... he wanted her to realise she deserved better. She was always able to make him feel better about himself, to make him feel like he wasn’t worthless and that maybe someday he could even make something of himself, and maybe he just wanted to return the favour.

It didn’t hurt that everything he said he meant one hundred percent.

But now she was asking where to find someone better and suddenly all his courage left him, but it also left him with a sudden realisation: what he really wanted to say in reply was right here beside you. She was so close he could smell her, but he could also smell Jeremy because of that stupid shirt she was wearing. It would be so satisfying to tear it off of her and make her scream like that douchebag couldn’t. The answer was right there in his eyes if she wanted to see it, but also lower if you catch my drift. Finally breaking the gaze, he quickly turned away to hide his... excitement and grabbed up his dishes.

“It’s a big city,” was his non-answer.

[acontrollist]

The non-answer and sudden departure doesn't help Rachel at all. If it'd been anyone else, she may have kept pushing. May have realized that they were hinting at themselves all along but Noah wasn't like that. He never had been. When he wanted something or someone, he went out and got it/them. Regardless of what supposedly stood in his way. Exhibit A: Quinn. Exhibit B: The fact that he came to New York with no money, no job and no place to stay. So whether or not Rachel's hoping he'll just lean in and kiss her (because she's seen the girls he brings home and 5 minutes of compliments can't reverse years of being told her boobs are too small or she's too short or her nose is too big and she can't find the courage to take that chance herself) is irrelevant because he doesn't.

"Y-yeah." She nods, returning her attention to her plate once he's gone. "It is. Suppose I'll have to...start patrolling back alleys and prison release ports." When in doubt, tell a joke, right?

[countpuckula]

Puck was usually a man of action rather than words, and whatever he wanted he made it work. The only problem was that a few short years ago he had put Rachel on a very exclusive ‘off limits’ list. He had grown in high school, had learned from his mistakes, and when the opportunity had presented itself for him to have her he had turned her down. He had betrayed Finn once with Quinn and he had promised himself never again. Finn had been his best friend for years, and Puck had finally learned what it was to be a friend, but also what it was like to have someone he loved taken from him. He didn’t want to do that again, nor did he want to risk losing any more friends. Since everyone had gone their separate ways after graduating, he really didn’t have many left.

Maybe he had grown, maybe he had matured, but he knew if he crossed that line with Rachel it had the chance of screwing everything up. Or maybe he was just afraid of being used or rejected by her again.

Setting his dishes in the sink, he tried to think of something to say. He couldn’t help but take her joke a little personally even though she probably had no idea that he had been unconsciously thinking of himself when he was telling her what she needed.

“I said a little edge, not a psycho creep... unless you’re really that desperate,” he tried to joke back, but it fell flat. The whole situation just really sucked. This was why feelings got in the way; if she had been just anyone he wouldn’t think twice about taking her right there on the kitchen counter, but the fact was that he actually cared about her, even respected her. She couldn’t be just another one night stand.

There’s always that whole friends with benefits thing, though...

[acontrollist]

"Noah." Rachel sighs, sliding off of the stool and carrying her plate to the sink. "I'm an actress. All of the guys I spend my time with? Are gay. Or like Jeremy. You're the only person I know with any edge or whatever you seem to be prescribing as a remedy for my...problem that I didn't know was a problem." She doesn't even really realize what she's said until after she's nudged him aside and started to rinse her plate off. She can't wash it, not really, what with one hand bandaged up, so she sits it in the dishwasher instead.

Logically, Rachel knows that letting sex enter their relationship could be a horrible thing. Noah's never been a commitment type of guy, and Rachel's never been one for casual sex. Forcing one of them to do one or the other would probably only result in a resentful Noah or a jealous, hurt Rachel. Illogically, Rachel knows she's already jealous. She can hear the women in his room at night and she's never...it's more than just the fact that they're with him. The things it sounds like they're feeling, she's never come close to. It only makes it worse that they get to feel them with Puck when she doesn't.

[countpuckula]

Puck stayed at the since when Rachel approached, watching her rinse the dishes, close but never too close. There it was; he was the only one she knew that could help her. Of course she hadn’t really said it like that, and he was sure she hadn’t meant it like that, but damn if it wasn’t tempting.

Would it be so bad? They were both adults, after all, and the both had needs, so would it be so wrong to help each other out? Not that he ever needed the help, but still, they were friends and friends helped each other, right? It didn’t have to be a big deal, it was just sex. It didn’t have to be anything more than that, it could just be convenient. Would that be so bad? He kept trying to rationalise it while he stood there looking at her, and it was even starting to work.

Damn it, he was really going to regret this later. “So me, then.”

The words were out before he could think about it any more, before he could stop himself.

[acontrollist]

"So me, then."

Rachel freezes. She'd been hoping he'd say that, of course, but...now she realizes that she doesn't know what he means. Hopefully, Noah knows her better than to suggest that they attempt a casually sexual relationship but...what if that is what he's suggesting? If she asks, and she's right and she turns him down, then...what happens? Or she takes him up on his offer and decides she can't do the casual thing. What then?

"I-...what do you mean?" She says instead, only slightly turning her head to look at him, gnawing on her bottom lip. At this point, now that the fantasy of being with Noah is gone, she doesn't know what she'd prefer and it's tearing her nerves apart.

[countpuckula]

What did he mean? What did he mean? He had done the whole relationship thing before and, frankly, he’d sucked at it. He’d done the love thing to and it had tore him apart. Losing Shelby and Beth in one fell swoop had almost torn him apart, not that anyone had really noticed. Everyone had been so caught up in their own drama at the time that he had been able to put on a happy face and go back to his old ways of casually dating any and every girl he wanted and he hadn’t tried a relationship since.

But this was Rachel! Part of him thought (or hoped?) that maybe she had changed since Finn and would be up for just having some fun, but the fact that she was in a relationship with Jeremy seemed to speak to the contrary. Maybe he was wrong, maybe it could work. He was over thinking it again, making it all too complicated.

“What do you think I mean?” he asked, turning to face her with a smirk on his lips. Placing one hand on her hip he leaned in, hovering over her and holding her gaze. “You pretty much admitted that Johnny can’t get you off, and that is a problem, one that I don’t have.” Please don’t make this complicated. Shit, I’m gonna ruin everything. yet he couldn’t seem to stop. “I could make you scream without even taking my clothes off.”

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Even if she was horny enough to go for it once, Rachel just wasn’t that kind of girl. They couldn’t be just friends after this, yet Puck wasn’t sure if he could be more either.

[acontrollist]

Rachel had tried the casual sex thing when she first moved to New York. It hadn't worked out. And though that may have had something to do with the sex being mediocre, she thinks maybe it was mostly due in part to the fact that Rachel's just not built that way. She's too selfish, to much of a hopeless romantic. She loves too hard, too easily for it to work out. While she doesn't doubt that they could probably pull it off for a little while, she knows that eventually the jealousy would be too much for her and either he'd get fed up with it or she'd have to cut her losses to preserve her own heart and she doesn't want to think about what would happen to their friendship then.

"Jeremy." She corrects him again, pushing back off of the counter. "I don't doubt that you could, Noah. I just hope you're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting." Because Puck's her best friend. And she really hopes he knows she's not a one night stand type of girl. Or a no strings attached type of girl. She hopes he thinks she's worth more than the chicks he brings home and never calls again.

They're treading a dangerous line here. This conversation could make or break their relationship and just thinking about it makes Rachel want to cry in frustration and fear. She wants him. She does! But she's scared. Of losing him, of losing herself. It's really all too much to handle right now but Rachel's always been a glutton for punishment, it seems.