Divavention

[acontrollist]

It's late. Later than Rachel usually stays up, but sleep is being elusive. She thinks about calling Noah but she knows he's babysitting his little sister since his Mom works doubles on Thursday nights. Besides, she's dumped enough on him for the day.

So it's late. And Rachel's laying in bed, staring up at the glow in the dark star stickers above her bed, wishing sleep would come.

Comments

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"They were. And look where that got me, Kurt. Were you paying any attention at all to what transpired this afternoon? You know what Finn said to me today? He said "Fuck you,". Finn doesn't curse. I'm sick of being the bad guy for wanting more than Lima and a white picket fence and 2.5 kids but that's what caring about someone enough to break your own heart has done for me. Right now, the best thing for me is to focus on saving money and building credits for my reapplication to NYADA. Even if I wanted a relationship, I'm not at all emotionally equipped for one right now due to recent events. And before you go yelling at him for taking advantage of my fragile emotional state, I approached him."

"I suppose that's true. Although it does serve to make me realize that I made the right decision." She laughs a little. "I promise, the word "Puckleberry" is the furthest thing from my mind when I'm in bed with Noah."

[slap-the-butt.livejournal.com]

"What happened between you and Finn was a long time in the coming. The two of you spent the last few years on and off, hurting each other and hurting other people because of each other. You never really wanted the same things and honestly, I don't think Finn wanted the white picket fence and 2.5 kids any more than you do. He just doesn't realize he can do better. You can both do better. If we're being completely honest here, you and Finn were never going to last no matter what you did. That doesn't mean every relationship is going to be like that, Rachel. Besides, if all you wanted was something uncomplicated and easy, you'd be doing it with someone other than Puck. And as far as you approaching him, that doesn't make him taking you up on the offer any less disgusting if it was obvious you were upset. There is such a thing as taking advantage of one's emotional state, you know."

"Now that you and Finn are over, I think she only still does that to make me uncomfortable." He makes another face. There's also only so much he wants to hear about Puck's sex life. "Please tell me you two are using protection."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"I realize that. I do. It's just that Finn doesn't and its like I'm being punished because he doesn't get it! Maybe every relationship won't end that way and maybe my taste will be better in the future but I have to recover from this first and it's like every time I get on a track where I can see a life without me caring for or hurting because of Finn, he shows up again! And Noah-...it is easy. It is. He doesn't ask for anything that I'm not ready to give. And being upset doesn't make me any less equipped to make the decision about whether or not I want to have sex. You can't honestly tell me that when it's good, the way you feel after is...its some of the best stress relief there is, I know you know that."

"You make funny faces when you're uncomfortable..." She gasps. "Kurt! Of course we use protection! I haven't completely lost my mind!"

[slap-the-butt.livejournal.com]

"Finn might not yet but he will, and if today was anything to go on he'll probably get it soon. I'm going to have a talk with him soon anyway. Hopefully I'll be able to get him to realize it's time to move on, if he doesn't realize it already. Just-- when he does move on, you have to let him. It can't be like last year. Neither of you will ever get past this if you keep repeating the same patterns. And you might think this thing with Puck is easy now but chances are, they won't stay that way. Sex is complicated, Rachel, and you're still way too new at it for there not to be a chance you'll get attached. And you may not think being upset makes you less capable of making that decision and I agree, to an extent, but that doesn't mean you can't be taken advantage of. Sex is nice, wonderful with the right person, but I don't use it for stress relief."

"I do not! My faces stay normal no matter what creepy brother related tmi comes out of Santana's mouth!" He sighs with relief. "I had to make sure. You might be smart enough to use protection, but that doesn't mean he is."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"What part of anything that's gone on lately has given you any indication that I want Finn back?" Okay, so she's a little insulted. "I can assure you that none of what's been happening will repeat itself. I'm no longer interested in anything more than a friendship with Finn and I'm sure he's way beyond wanting even that with me. Which is just fine. But I can't-...the compromises that Finn wants me to make aren't compromises and I'm not willing to be left standing on my own trying to put a person that I no longer recognize back together. I can't do it. Noah is my friend, and we have sex, but that is all. Besides, if he was taking advantage of me, he'd have pushed for sex when I spent the night last night." Oops. Smooth...

"I'm sorry to say that's not true, my friend." She huffs. "That happened once, Kurt. And let's not forget that Quinn consented to sex without protection." She may be a little sick of everything being Noah's fault. No big deal. "We're always safe. So you can rest your perfectly coifed little head."

[slap-the-butt.livejournal.com]

"Because you have a habit of claiming to move on and then trying to get Finn back the first chance you get. You both do that and that's why this keeps happening. I hope you'll both prove me wrong but neither of you ever lets the other move on. Even when you say you're going to, so you're going to have to forgive me for being skeptical at the moment." He's just calling it like he sees it. "Finn hasn't exactly had the easiest year either, Rachel. I think that's why he's been so desperate to get you back. Deep down he knows he won't be happy with you and you won't be happy with him. He's just lost. He'll probably move on soon, and hopefully not to Quinn again." He rolls his eyes. He doesn't particularly care where she spent the previous night. He figured she must have been spending some nights with Puck anyway. "Just be careful. You may say it's just sex with a friend, but like isn't always that easy."

"It is true. I've never made a funny face in my life!" He sighs. "I'll start caring about what Quinn did or didn't do when she's the one you're having sex with. Until then, she's irrelevant." Kurt's mostly indifferent towards Puck and has been since the dumpster tossing ended. As long he doesn't hurt anyone he cares about, he doesn't have a problem with him. "Good. Then I won't have to lecture you on STDs."

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to fight about this, nor am I going to. You'll just have to take my word for it that I'm done with Finn." Rachel sighs. "I know things have sucked. For all of us. It's just not fair to take it out on others. I do hope he moves on...but not to Quinn." She agrees. Even though she likes Quinn now that she's started to get herself together. But Rachel's starting to think maybe it's better if those "tried and true crash and burn" couples stay away from each other. Namely, her and Finn and Quinn and Finn. "Maybe Blaine knows some girls from Dalton's sister school that we could set him up with?" She wants to yell at him again, but she knows he's just being a concerned friend. Those are a privilege for her. "I'll be fine, Kurt. Okay? And if things go bad, I promise I'll let you be the first in line to say I told you so."

"Okay, Kurt, okay." She laughs. "No, you won't. I took health class with you, remember? We're safe, he's a perfect gentleman, etc etc...can we keep this between us, though?"

[slap-the-butt.livejournal.com]

"Fine, but if history does repeat itself, don't be surprised when I call you out on it." He bites his bottom lip. "No, it's not fair, but hopefully that will stop soon. But if he does move on to Quinn... you know you'll have to respect that decision, right? Whether you agree with it or not." Which isn't to say Kurt wouldn't have plenty to say about it to Finn, but that's different. Kurt's stuck with Finn and his dumb choices for the rest of his life. "I doubt it. We haven't really had contact with those girls since that day in the abandoned warehouse. Maybe I can try setting him up with one of the non-glee club Cheerios." He frowns. "If things go badly, I'll be the first in line to give him a piece of my mind."

He snorts. "I'm pretty sure I was the only one paying attention in health class that day, which is kind of sad, considering I'm probably the only one at that school that has actually gotten The Talk from a parent. Yes, okay, I won't tell anyone about this." Except Blaine, but even he won't be getting all the details.

[acontrollist.livejournal.com]

"I won't be surprised. But you have to stop trying to jinx me by saying that history will repeat itself. It won't. And even if you're skeptical, I just need you to believe in me a little." She pleads. "I understand that. The fact of the matter is that while I no longer want to be with Finn, he was still an important part of my life and I do want good for him. I broke up with him because I want good for him. Quinn isn't it, no matter how much she's changed. And I'm not so sure you could handle having Quinn as a sister-in-law." She sighs, shaking her head. "Yes, Kurt, I know. Just try not to completely jump down his throat when you see him tomorrow." Because Rachel's not nearly naive enough to think that Kurt won't be cornering Noah at some point after this.

"When have I ever not paid attention in class, Kurt Hummel? And for your information, my fathers gave me the talk." She replies indignantly. "Thank you. Its just that Noah and I haven't discussed publicity yet."