Like Ships
Feb. 3rd, 2013 02:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
The apartment is empty when Rachel walks in. Not that she expects anything different. They've been married for a little more than a month, but since their honeymoon, she's actually gotten to spend time with Noah that wasn't just the two fo them sleeping next to each other or shoveling takeout into their mouths before they passed out maybe a grand total of 3 times. 4, if you count the quickie on the couch, which Rachel doesn't really, since she's pretty sure she was asleep before he even pulled out and she's not sure she would have remembered it happened at all the next day if there hadn't been that bruise on her ribs.
Needless to say, the whole baby thing? Hasn't happened. She was ovulating last week and didn't get to see him at all (she woke up halfway when he got into bed, and then again when he got out to go back to work) those days. Rachel's frustrated to say the least and she kicks her shoes hard into the back of their closet, grumbling to herself.
Needless to say, the whole baby thing? Hasn't happened. She was ovulating last week and didn't get to see him at all (she woke up halfway when he got into bed, and then again when he got out to go back to work) those days. Rachel's frustrated to say the least and she kicks her shoes hard into the back of their closet, grumbling to herself.
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Date: 2013-02-05 07:08 pm (UTC)"Noah." Rachel huffs. He'd rather use it now, but she'd rather him save it. Use it later when he'd have a month, maybe even more, saved up. After the baby is born (because damn it, all they need is a couple of days. She knows it.) and he's really needed at home. A month for the two of them to get acclimated. That's her ideal. A month where he doesn't get called out in the middle of the night and wake the baby up on his way out (because she knows it'll happen. The amount of times he's slammed his knee into the doorframe trying to hop into his pants on the way out so he doesn't wake her up...)
His question upsets her much more than his questions usually do and she sits her food down on the table. "Why do you do that?" She snaps. "Why do you ask me things like that, Noah? Jesus, I already don't get to see you, can we have 10 minutes together without your ego getting in the way?" Maybe it's just the straw that broke the camel's back because she's sniffling. "I married you. Not Brody. If I wanted Brody, with everything that's been going on, if he was really better than you and I cared, that's where I'd be. Not eating halfway decent thai in a smelly police station with the husband I haven't seen in days."
"...Fine." She has to admit, it does sound fun. And Sunday would be a good night, since everyone's off Monday, and those with kids will be child free the next morning because of school.
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Date: 2013-02-06 02:56 am (UTC)But this has been Rachel's dream since before they met, and he knew what it might take, one day. She's achieving her dream every time she sets foot on that stage. As long as she's okay with it, and it stays onstage, he's supportive. [If he offered her the ultimatum - stage or him - depending on the day, it might be a toss-up. And while he might be an insensitive jerk at times, he's not that much of a d-bag.
"Rachel," he counters with a full mouth of noodles. He gets paternity. He has vacation to use. He'd rather take it now then save it up for later then get told he can't use it because somebody with more seniority already scheduled it. Maybe he needs a break from work, too.
He drops his Thai on the table and stares at her. "Whoa. Dial down the bitch for a minute." And that probably isn't going to go over well... especially as she begins sniffling, and it makes him forget her outburst in an instant. "Shhh, shhh," he soothes, wrapping his arms around her and folding her close to his chest. "I know, baby. I swear, I'll get time with you. I just - Shit's tough. We haven't seen each other in days and it's killing me. I just - I don't want you to have regrets with marrying me and shit after this. Feels like that asshole gets to see you more than I do," because he does, "and gets to kiss you and touch you for the show when I'm lucky if I get to kiss you when you're awake." So, fuck that, because - even if they've got Thai-breath and they're sitting on a couch that has seen better days, and they're sitting in the NYPD precinct break room, he's still gonna cup her jaw in one hand, brushing tears away with his thumb, and lean in for a slow kiss. It's more than he's gotten in too fucking long.
[See? He has good ideas.]
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Date: 2013-02-06 03:49 am (UTC)She's opening her mouth to say something indignant and angry, one hand reaching to shut the top over her thai, the other grabbing for her jacket because no way is she staying here after that, not when she's here instead of at home catching up on much needed sleep, when he interrupts her to hug her close. She knows he hates this as much as she does. And she'd even be a little sorry for jumping down his throat if he hadn't called her a bitch. She breaks the kiss after a bit, still picking up her jacket. It's been a while and she just stopped ovulating and...she's mad at him, damn it! So she needs to get away from him before they start something they can't finish right here.
"I don't have any regrets. You just called me a bitch, and I still don't regret marrying you." She does kind of regret coming down here though, since at least when they weren't speaking, they weren't fighting either. She seals the top over her food, scooting to the edge of the couch to stand. "I'm tired."
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Date: 2013-02-06 03:08 pm (UTC)Even using the word bitch in reference to her is so far out of line that it's practically in another universe, and he knows that. Fuck, he knows that. He's irritable and tired and he fucking knows that he was at work when she was ovulating and he's not sure when this baby thing went from not right now to borderline obsession, and he's pissed. At himself, at the situation, at the NYPD, at the world for refusing to stop for five fucking minutes so that he can be with his wife after all the shit they've endured.
[All that being said, she did practically attack him because he asked about Brody. He's fucking insecure right now, okay? He's that stupid little kid who just wants everything to be okay.]
"You jumped down my fuckin' throat," he counters mildly. "I'm sorry, Rach. I shouldn't have said - what I said. I - I love you, and this sucks." He's getting thinner, the muscles standing out on his frame and he's practically surviving on coffee. They're both stressed, sleeping little, working long hours, and it's taking its toll on both of them, on their relationship. "I should be home in a couple hours," he murmurs, reaching out to stroke her cheek again with gentle fingers, his gaze pleading. "Go, have some tea, go sleep. Call me when you get home so I know you made it safe, okay? - Unless you want one of the guys to drop you off. I can ask." I'd feel safer, he doesn't say, but he'll be content with just a phone call.
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Date: 2013-02-06 07:56 pm (UTC)Zipping her jacket, she shakes her head in response to his offer. "I'll take a cab." A cab driver won't come back and report to her husband that she cried on the way home, and she won't give in to the urge to yell at a cab driver about stupid hours and burst appendixes. She just needs to be anonymous for a little while.
"I'll see you...whenever." She can't even promise it'll be when he gets home, because she'll either be asleep or on her way out for rehearsal. And who knows where he'll be whenever she manages to fight her way through the crowd and back to their apartment?
do the next post and I'll have him come home during my next post <3
Date: 2013-02-06 09:30 pm (UTC)She allows herself a few moments' press of her cheek to his hand before moving away; his hand drops to his side. "Okay. Just... call me so I know you got back okay." The remainder of his shift will go easier if he knows that she's home, tucked into bed, sleeping. Maybe she'll feel better in the morning. He'll still be exhausted, but whatever. He's been awake for longer than 24 hours before now; this will just be another one of those times [he'll try to stay up with her]. "See you when I get home, in the morning," he murmurs, standing to walk her out, leaving his Thai on the table.
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Date: 2013-02-06 11:04 pm (UTC)"Sit down, Noah. Finish eating." Rachel picks up her own Thai, shouldering her purse. Fight or not, he's still on his lunch break. A much needed one at that. They're both losing weight, but hers is more from stress and Noah's the one that gets all cranky when he doesn't eat. "I'll call you when I get home."
She doesn't cry in the cab. She sniffles a little, in the shower, but by the time she lays down, her head is pounding and her back feels like a column of knots and she's too tired to cry, too tired for nearly anything and she doesn't even realize that she's falling asleep until she's gone.
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Date: 2013-02-07 03:06 am (UTC)He finally makes it home at six-thirty in the fucking morning after showering at work and taking the MTA. It's already light outside, and he stops for a Dean & DeLuca, knowing that there's a good chance that Rachel will be awake and hoping that she's in a better mood now than she was when she'd left the precinct. Opening the door, coffees in hand, he locks it behind himself with a soft click, sliding the chain in the lock and twisting the deadbolt.
He removes his shoes so that he doesn't make noise, setting the coffees on the table for a brief moment. The apartment is quiet, and he carefully walks toward their bedroom. He wears sweats - something he can easily sleep in, 'cause he keeps a change of clothes in his locker for days like this, something clean to wear after he showers - and dislodges his badge and sidearm from his clothing, placing them atop the dresser with the intention of moving them to the nightstand drawer later. "Rach, baby?" he murmurs, not wanting to wake her if she sleeps, but wanting to know if she's awake. "Brought you coffee."
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Date: 2013-02-07 03:48 am (UTC)"Thanks." She stretches, turning slightly on the bed to look at him. The bitch thing still stings a little
a lot, and right now it's not doing much besides irritating the hell out of Rachel. She's got an extra hour before she needs to start getting ready for work, they're both awake, and she can't shake her hurt feelings about last night. Great timing. Really. They could be baby making right now. God."So..." She runs her fingers through her hair, trying to work out some of the tangles. "How was work?"
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Date: 2013-02-07 03:55 am (UTC)"How about you, you sleep okay? M'sorry I woke you up."
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Date: 2013-02-07 04:06 am (UTC)"I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep." She admits, turning to look at the clock again. "When do you have to go back in?"
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Date: 2013-02-07 04:16 am (UTC)He's fairly certain that it would bother her, if the shoe were on the other foot. If it was Rachel working her ass off in a job she alternately loved and hated, and he got to spend his days working with an attractive co-star, touching her and kissing her and getting a point-blank view of her body.
It's that another guy gets to do this stuff, and he hasn't been able to do it. They either work opposite schedules or they're too fucking exhausted to even begin.
"First shift tomorrow," he murmurs, taking a sip of his coffee and following her gaze to the clock. I'm free 'til eight a.m. tomorrow. Fuckin' sweet. "So, I have today and tonight with you, then I gotta be up and out the same time as you for rehearsal tomorrow. I'm not the only person covering Drew, so it's not gonna be doubles and overtime every day." It'll probably kick his ass, but he's fully prepared to stay up with Rachel and fall asleep on her dressing room couch when she's onstage, catching a nap during rehearsal, a nap during a show, before sleeping with her when the show is over for the night.
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Date: 2013-02-07 04:35 am (UTC)Nodding, she picks up her coffee to take another sip. It's Wednesday, so the shows should be thin, meaning she might actually make it home around 10:30. Which is actually pretty good. "Good. You'll actually get some sleep." And they'll maybe actually get to spend a little time together. "I'll try to get through the crowds at a reasonable time..."
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Date: 2013-02-07 04:48 am (UTC)[Also, he's a classy bastard. Amanda's married.]
"Can I come with?" He's fully prepared for her to say no, but he doesn't really give a shit. If he has the time to be with her, he'll take it. "I can crash on the couch when you're onstage. I'll bring the iPad. Swear I won't bug you, I don't wanna stay here all day by myself when I could be with you." For coffee breaks, lunch breaks, times when somebody else is rehearsing a scene and she's got some time to waste.
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Date: 2013-02-07 05:02 am (UTC)"You really want to sit at the studio all day? You'll be bored out of your mind." Well...not exactly, probably. Her coworkers really like him, and since some of them are going on the tour, they're not as hardcore as Rachel right now. So they'll probably talk to him. Rachel, though, will likely only acknowledge him in passing, focused on trying to stay in Wendla's headspace between shows and rehearsals.
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Date: 2013-02-07 05:11 am (UTC)"I'll sleep," he offers. "I need the sleep. I just don't wanna do it here while you're there." It doesn't bother him that she'll be busy, rehearsing or performing; he can find things to do.
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Date: 2013-02-07 05:18 am (UTC)"It's kind of loud and the couch isn't very comfortable but...you're welcome to come along, if you want." She won't mind having him there, she just knows that Noah kind of turns into a little boy when he's bored.
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Date: 2013-02-08 04:25 am (UTC)She fumbles with his clothes and gets nowhere; he's taking too long to pull his hands from her body and she's too fucking desperate, her hands trembling in her impatience. Her shirt hits the floor [she gave up on his clothing], and he pulls himself away, just for a moment, to yank his t-shirt over his head and toss it on the ground, shove his sweats down around his thighs and ankles, before he grabs her naked body in his arms again, holding her tightly. "Fuck, yes," he manages, his mouth meeting hers, pressing hungry kisses to her lips, the curve of her jaw, her chin, trailing down her neck and the throbbing pulse there... "Baby, need." Fuck ovulating. He just wants his wife.
"I'm fuckin' tired enough that it won't matter," he tells her honestly. "I'll sleep and when I'm not sleepin', I'll fuck around on the iPad, watch a movie or something. I've been up for, like, two days or something. I'm gonna crash."
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Date: 2013-02-08 04:36 am (UTC)Is she wrong for thinking make up sex is a super fun part of that?
He takes care of his own shirt and sweats while she wiggles out of her panties, up on her knees and poised like she's nearly ready to leap, propelling herself forward the second he reaches back out for her. "I'm right here." She needs too. She's not thinking about getting pregnant, not right now, not with her husband so close for the first time in what feels like forever. They can fool around later. Foreplay and sweet nothings and yada yada but now? Right now, she wastes no time grabbing at him, tugging to lay down on the bed.
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Date: 2013-02-08 04:52 am (UTC)"I know." For the first time in forever - hey, they're both awake, and they have enough time to get naked. [Somebody better pinch him 'cause he's pretty sure this is a dream.] He crawls onto the bed, dropping onto his stomach and knocking the breath from his lungs. Rach. He doesn't speak; he's too busy kissing her, rolling to his back, tugging her to straddle him. His hands move between her thighs, encouraging, stroking; he takes himself in hand and rubs between her thighs, impatient, feeling her dripping as he kisses her.
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Date: 2013-02-08 05:01 am (UTC)Except that's not what she wants right now. She's perfectly content to ride his fingers for right now, wet, not soaking but enough (at least, enough as she has patience for) but when he bucks up against her, she sits back, pulling him with her so that she's in his lap, facing him, pressed together from their collarbones to their hips.
There's barely enough space to reach down and wrap her fingers around him, rocking her hips forward to sink onto him.
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Date: 2013-02-08 07:42 pm (UTC)[Admittedly, it's fun when she's on top. He gets to just recline on the bed, Rachel straddling his hips and sliding up and down his length - sometimes twisting her hips in circles or figure-eights, sometimes rising up on her toes or spreading her thighs wider to sink low - and when she gets really close or excited, she gasps as she bounces, and it's so fucking hot to see those beautiful tits bounce with the motion of her body. His eyes are fucking drawn to them. And he can pull her low and kiss her, can take a nipple in his mouth, or suck on her fingers, or bring his own hands between her thighs and rub the pad of his thumb against her body as she rides him.]
This position - both of them seated, hugging each other, Rachel straddling his lap - is a good one; he can do all of those things and rock his own body for a long, slow fuck that will probably make them scramble to get her to rehearsal on time. She's the one to guide him, and he exhales a low groan against her mouth as he feels the wet slip of her skin, pushing inside her until all he feels is Rachel.
[Yeah. The first time they did this? He never would have imagined she'd become his wife. And it feels so amazing without condoms; it's even more amazing, knowing that there is nothing that she keeps from him now.]
"I love you," he breathes, panting out the words between kisses. "Love you, love you - shit, baby - not enough time," his mouth leaves her lips and slides over her jaw, biting at her earlobe, his arms wrapped around her body to the point that it's difficult for him to breathe [she's held so tightly against his chest, his breath shuddering]. "Wanna fuckin' do this for days."
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Date: 2013-02-09 12:01 am (UTC)But that's neither here nor there.
The point is, that while this isn't her favorite position, it's perfect for right now. She can actually look at him, can feel him, pressed as close as their bodies can allow right now, for the first time in what seems like a lifetime. And she takes full advantage of it, digging her nails against his shoulders and moving slowly, gently, enough to rock her hips and feel him sliding and moving in her, but not enough so that the rest of her loses contact. "I love you. God, love you, love you..." Leaning forward, she seals her lips over his, leaning their foreheads together when the kiss breaks. "I'll-...no rehearsal."
It'll be fine. They'll finish in time enough for her to call Brody and the crew knows. How stressed she's been, how little she's seen her husband. They'll understand. It's just one rehearsal and their Isle's the one who needs work, not her.
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Date: 2013-02-11 10:55 pm (UTC)He can feel the press of her nails against the skin of his bare back, the tightening of her thighs around his waist as she rocks and whispers. She's always so good, so responsible and strong. She's the stoic one in their relationship; sure, she's a drama queen, but she's there when nobody else is. Hell, she let him drag her to New York City without a plan, with nothing other than a few bags, a little money, and each other. He's the tough guy, he's the cop, but he'd really be nothing without Rachel, and they both know it.
They suddenly have more time, the opportunity to lie together in bed and actually wake up together. It had been a shock when their shifts made time together difficult; they had always had the luxury of time. They have a reprieve from their busy schedules this morning, and he intends to make the most of it. He kisses her again, slow and tender, breath shaky as his lips touch hers. Rocking, he clenches his muscles, shifting back and forth as he moves inside her. There's enough of him to fit perfectly, to touch all of her; wrapping his arm more fully around her ribs, he reaches between their bodies with an errant hand, stroking the curve of her neck, brushing his fingertips over her bare breasts and down the hollow between them, gently mapping the curve between her hipbones with his hand.
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Date: 2013-02-11 11:23 pm (UTC)Unwinding her arms from around his neck, she wraps her fingers around his wrist, slipping his hand down until there's no more space for him, until she can press his fingertips against where they're joined. That's what she's missed. Not sex, not per say, but his touch. His hands on her waist, in her hair. Not his body, because he's given that to too many women for her to count but she thinks - she knows - the way he touches her is different. She can feel it, in the way his fingertips press into whatever skin they're up against, that he loves her. That he needs her, by the way he clutches her closer.
She's not even really kissing him anymore, just whimpering against the seal of his lips and rocking with the clench of his muscles, letting him lead from underneath. "Don't stop."
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