"Being married to you's motivation to stay hot, baby. I don't wanna be a fat cop on the red carpet with my girl, you know? I don't want them making donut jokes about me," he protests, shivering as he grabs her finger in an empty fist, stealing another kiss from her lips as his other hand slips further into her pants.

"But you're Rachel fucking Puckerman and you're gonna be hot no matter what," he reassures her, reaching out with gentle fingertips to nudge her shirt up over her ribs, his thumb lightly twirling around the circular rim of her bellybutton. "You finished talking yet, babe?"