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I'm All Alone and I Need You Now

Rachel Berry has never in her life had heartburn. She's never eaten meat. She hasn't thrown up since she was 10 and she's never had a nosebleed, aside from that one time Finn elbowed her in the face.

Until the last two months, of course. When she found out she was pregnant. And turned into a completely different person, complete with nasuea, meat cravings (she's a vegan for Christ's sake!), heartburn and that nosebleed in the middle of biology. Right now, though? She can't even look at her ants on a log snack. That she's been thinking about since 3rd period. The sight of the celery and peanut butter makes her sick and she honestly wants to cry.

"Noah."

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Teenage daddy. Puck used to think that was reserved for losers and those idiots on Teen Mom. That show was seriously really fucked up. He never thought that he'd be one of those guys. Clearly little Puckerone had other ideas in store. Ideas like knocking up Rachel Berry. Rachel Berry.

He could forget for a few hours that he knocked her up through video games. His Xbox was the only thing that let him forget that Rachel Berry was in his kitchen tearing apart his fridge. He liked the girl, but man could she eat now. Right now he was promptly ignoring the devour and focusing on killing zombies.

"Yippee-ki-yay, mother--what?" He is not driving to Taco Bell again. He refuses.

Edited 2012-01-31 08:13 (UTC)

"I hate you." She sniffles. It's really the only thing that comes to mind right now. After all, if he wasn't so goddamn attractive and amazing and the perfect boyfriend and all those things she was convinced he was until she couldn't eat her freakin' ants on a log anymore and her favorite frog sweater got stained with blood from her nose, she wouldn't be pregnant right now.

He hasn't even spoken to her in like thirty minutes. He's not sure what he could have possibly done to irritate her in such a short time frame. It's not impossible. Still it doesn't mean he knows what the hell he did.

"The hell did I do?" If he didn't know better he would assume she was on the rag. Mike was the one who had to explain that when women got pregnant they didn't do that anymore.

If she yelled about the frog sweater one more time he was going to have to swipe some beer from under his mom's bed. She kept it there when Puck and his sister were driving her nuts. She didn't know that Puck had discovered it in an attempt to hide from Rachel. It was very unsuccessful.

"Its bad enough that I'm eating meat now. I can't even enjoy my healthy snacks anymore." No, really. You don't get it. This is seriously pissing her off. She's 4 months pregnant and all she wants is her goddamn celery but of course Puck's demon spawn wants bacon instead.

It's not that she doesn't love Puck. She does. They've been together two years and he tolerates her crazy and she manages to see past his outer asshole and it works for them. And the sex is good (obviously).

It's just that she kind of hates him sometimes too. "I just want to eat my celery. What's wrong with that?" She grabs her pillow off of the bed, laying sideways and curling around it so she can watch him play Xbox from where he's seated on the floor at the foot of the bed.

Healthy snacks are for chumps. Healthy snacks are stupid in the eyes of Noah Puckerman. He may or may not be a tiny bit happy that his "demon spawn" is making her want good food. Though sometimes the food isn't that appealing. It's especially gross when she starts mixing things that should never be mixed. Even Puck has to draw the line somewhere.

He jabbed the pause button and leaned forward from the head of the bed. His back was against the headboard and his feet sprawled out across the comforter. "Finn told me that celery gives you cancer." Puck has yet to check the internet to know if that's correct. He doesn't really listen to his best friend anymore after the prostate and women debacle.

"Finn doesn't know anything about anything." She huffs, rolling onto her back. "And peanut butter is a good source of protein. Which the doctor said I needed extra of."

After a bit, she tosses the pillow aside, wrapping her arms around her middle. She's always been tiny, too, so she's showing a little by now, which is probably why she's wearing Puck's football jersey instead of her own clothing. It all feels too tight. And she swears that if she lays really still, she can feel the baby move.

She had a point. Finn was his best friend, but he was dumber than a brick. Then again Puck wasn't exactly a genius either. Farthest thing from actually.

"Scoop out the peanut butter, babe." He put the controlled next to him and slid across the bed until he reached the foot. He moved to lay on his stomach and lean his head over the edge to look down at her. "Want me to get you the jar?" He could be nice. Sometimes.

She just pouts up at him, reaching up to play with the long front of his mohawk. "All of it looks gross. I was really looking forward to it too. I even managed to actually prepare it without my stomach protesting but as soon as I go to eat it...it's all your fault."

He's never been a fan of people touching his mohawk. It's his power. It's his essence. He didn't even let his own mother touch his hair. It really said something that he actually liked when Rachel messed with his hair. Maybe he was growing or some sappy shit like that?

"It takes two to make a baby, Berry." He paused and frowned. "Unless you're one of those old chicks who freezes their baby maker crap for a rainy day. Or when they buy a dudes sperm. Then it kinda takes one." He was getting a little off track. "My point is you--" He pointed down at her. "were totally all over little Pucksaurus."

Edited 2012-01-31 09:10 (UTC)

"Only because you're the finest male specimen that Lima has to offer. Can you really blame me?" She tugs a strand down between his eyes, poking at his nose a little. "So. It's still your fault. Also: don't call it that. What if we have a son? Everyone will call him Little Puck and I will forever equate the name with your penis. I don't like that."

His eyes crossed to look at the strand she was messing with. He looked back at down at her and smiled. "I am a stud." His brows wiggled and slowly a frown took over his face. Oh. Ew. She had a very disgusting point. He had never actually thought about it in those terms.

A son. He's gone and got distracted now. He's thinking about how totally awesome it'd be to have a son. He could teach him how to throw firecrackers at the ducks. They could be badass. "We could name him after one of your dads--if he's a ya know--boy." Trying to be sweet.

"You do realize that our choices then are Hiram and Leroy." She laughs, sitting up on her elbows. From there, she's able to lean up a little and press a sweet, lingering kiss against his lips. "I love you for suggesting it, though."

Puck really wanted to object to using Hiram, but he couldn't insult her dad's name. That would be kind of a douchey move. He knew enough to keep his mouth shut about it.

Good call, Puck. He was promptly rewarded with a kiss and a verbal pat on the head. "Love you too, babe." He shifted to kiss her forehead and pulled back. "I don't know I think Hiram would be kinda rockin'. Obviously Leroy would make him an automatic badass."

"No. Neither of my Dads." She sits all the way up as he pulls back, propping her arms on the edge of the bed. Don't get her wrong, she loves her fathers. And they've both been very supportive of she and Noah once they realized that they weren't going to abandon their plans for school and the future because of the baby. It's just...their names are kind of horrible.

"We've got like a month and a half before we find out if it's a boy or a girl. It'll be easier to decide then."

Thank Moses. He was not sure he could survive naming his son Hiram. He would be turning his son into a walking target. No Puckerman was ever going to get bullied. Even his little sister could stand defend herself. He was not going to set his son up for failure.

He put his arms on the bed and rested his chin on them as he looked at her. "You're not gonna wanna name it Rachel if it's a chick are you?" His baby mama had a big ego. He understood that. He wasn't sure he could get down with Rachel Jr. "Don't get me wrong. Love your name, but it'll get freaky real quick if I'm saying it during sex and it also belongs to our daughter. Just saying."

"Oh God. Absolutely not." She laughs, moving to rest her temple against his forearm, her face less than a few inches from his. "That's the same reason Noah Jr. is absolutely out. But." She reaches up again, running her fingers through his hair again. There's not a lot of it, but she's always loved his hair, even when they were little kids. She may or may not have cried and refused to talk to him for a week when he'd first cut it into his mohawk, even if she's grown to love it now. "I was thinking...maybe Caroline? If it's a girl."

To be fair he cut it so that Finn would respect his decision to be called The Badassonator. He still refused to respect it after Puck got the mohawk. Such a little bitch.

He pursed his lips as he thought over the name Caroline. He didn't have any immediate problems with it and it was sentimental between the two of them. He smiled and nodded after a moment. "I kinda dig it." He shook his head. "You're such a sap, babe."

"Maybe, but you're agreeing to it." She grins, leaning in to kiss him again. Nothing makes Rachel happier than getting her way, really. Especially when her way really does work out for the both of them and he's not just agreeing to keep her out of his hair (or lack thereof).

Pulling back from the kiss, she climbs up onto the bed next to him. "Did you do your homework?"

Disagreeing with Rachel could be entertaining, but a lot of the time it was just easier to give her what she wanted. Sometimes he did genuinely agree with her on something. Other times he thought she had gone nuts. This particular instance he was agreeing. He liked the name Caroline if it was a girl.

Puck was a big fan of being rewarded with kisses. Then again Puck was a big of kissing in general so it was no wonder he smiled like an idiot when she pulled back and joined him on the bed. He didn't bother getting up from laying on his stomach. "Totally." Totally not. His backpack was still in the kitchen by the door where he dropped it. Puck didn't do homework.

"Did you really?" She raises an eyebrow at him. "Don't lie. Remember? Liars have girlfriends that wear clothes to bed." She'd done most of her homework at lunch and finished up right after they arrived home. And then she'd passed out for a couple hours...it couldn't hurt to hope that he'd at least do something productive while she napped.

It's not fair that she can make threats like that. He doesn't even know how to combat that. Damn her. "It's fine. I'll try and copy Mike's tomorrow. Babe, he's Asian. He's really smart." So charming. It's a wonder she lets him have sex with her.

His productivity declined when she was asleep. There was no one around to push him to do anything. He had spent a few hours resisting the urge to shoot raisins into his girlfriend's open mouth. It had been really tough.

If you think your girlfriend sleeping in clothing is bad, Puckerman, try your girlfriend sleeping on the otherside of the neighborhood. Granted, it's only a 10 minute walk but it's still not next to you.

That's what happens if/when Rachel wakes up with raisins in her mouth. Seriously. Don't test her.

"That's not fair. At all. How do you even...you don't even try and you make grades almost as good as mine." She huffs, flopping back against the pillows at the head of the bed.

He didn't try. Like at all. In his defense it was really hard. He didn't understand that crap like everyone else. Plus it was so boring. How could they expect that much attention from him? That was asking for a lot from The Puckerman.

Puck smiled to himself and shifted to roll onto his back. His fingers laced and rested under his head. He lifted one of his feet that were close to her face and nudged her temple with a sock covered toe. "Copy Mike. We can not try together, babe. It'll be like bonding."

"Ugh. Noah. Seriously, don't even tempt me. My gag reflex is sensitive enough as it is without your feet in my face." She pushes his feet away, rolling so that her back is to him and she doesn't have to see his feet.

"Do you at least know the material? We have a test in psychology next week."

There it was. The irritation. He'd be lying if he said he didn't dig it just a little. She got pretty fucking cute when she was mad at him. There were times when he acted like a complete moron or a jackass just to see it.

Puck sighed and sat up from the bed. He moved up to the head of the bed and settled into lying on his side behind her. He looped an arm around her stomach and kissed her neck. "I know enough. Anything else I'll just copy from Artie."

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I'm All Alone and I Need You Now

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